I'm about ready to throw in the towel

I just am feeling really helpless and frustrated with this whole TTC business. I don't understand why it's taking so long and being so much harder to conceive this time around. We had no troubles with the girls at all! NONE!! Addy was a hole in one and Lauryn only took 2 months, but this...this is dragging on to 9 months already :( It's been nearly 5 months since by angel grew wings, and it's not getting any easier...In fact, it seems to be getting harder as my cycles seem to be getting weirder and weirder.

I took the Provera that was given to me at the end of July and got my period on CD23...WTH?? Well, this month I got my period on CD19!! I made a call to the other OB office in town with hopes that they'd be able to give me a second opinion, but that appointment isn't for another 3 weeks, and I don't know what to do in the meantime. Do I try again and get my hopes crushed when AF shows early, or do I wait and just suffer in the meantime while all the people around me seem to be getting pregnant without much effort? It just sucks!

Well...

it looks like I Od yesterday!! WooHoo!! My temp took a major nose dive yesterday and I was freaking out, but today it went sky high! I'll be interested to see what happens with my temps over the next few weeks. I'm not trying to get my hopes up as we didn't get to BD yesterday, but we did the three days in a row prior to ovulating. So, we'll see what happens!! The next 11 days are going to be torture...

A Roller Coaster of Emotions

TTC can definately play with your emotions...you can go from happy, to sad, to depressed, to excited in a matter of minutes, even seconds. I've been so confused with this cycle, and I blame it on the Provera that I've been taking.

FF gave me CHs on CD10!! I wasn't even done spotting yet, but that is the day I started taking the Provera. I did notice that it said that the progesterone may have caused my temps to go up so the CHs may not be accurate. I went out and bought some OPKs because I was concerned. I took one on Friday night and it was close to being positive, but still negative. I was excited, and I thought for sure Saturday would be the day. Well, I took the OPK and the second line was barely visable. I was crushed. I was thinking that maybe FF was right and that the darker line I had gotten the day before was coming off the LH surge and I had indeed Od already.

Last night, I decided to take another one. I just don't buy the CHs. My temps are still fairly low and I just haven't felt like I've Od already. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel different after I O. It's strange!! Anyway, imagine my surprise when the second line was super dark!! I posted it online and asked for opinions on whether or not it was positive. The consesus is that it was negative, but super darn close to being positive...so hopefully I'll have 2 dark, beautiful lines when I test today. We've been BDing to cover all our bases just in case. I hope this is our month!! If I got pregnant this month, I'd be due on my mom's birthday!!