An Introduction

Well, I'm not really sure where to start, but I've got to start somewhere. My name is Holly and I'm 26 years old. I've been truly blessed with 2 beautiful little girls, Addison (3 years old) and Lauryn (20 months old). I've been married to my husband, Todd, for 4 years, and we recenty decided that it was time to complete our family.

We started trying for our third and final baby in December of 2008. I noticed that my periods were starting to change, and go figure!! It was right when we were ready to start trying again. I had gone from a typical 5 days to 7 days of bleeding, and my ovulation day had changed from CD14 to anywhere between CD17-22. I had decided that if I wasn't pregnant after 3 months, and my periods continued to act strangely, that I would make a call to my doctor and discuss them with her.

I didn't have to make that call as we were blessed with a BFP on February 24, 2009 with a due date of November 8. We were so excited!! It had been a tough 3 months, but we were finally pregnant. I continued to chart my temps and became nervous as I realized that they weren't rising as they should. They were hovering around my coverline which scared me. I knew something wasn't quite right.

On March 26 I went for my firs u/s. I should have been 8w, and the baby was only measuring 6 weeks. I broke down into tears as I knew what was happening. I tried to think positively and was hoping that I was wrong...but on April 8 my worst fears came true! I found out via u/s that my lovebug had grown wings. His or her heart had stopped beating just a day or so after my previous appointment. I was and still am devestated. I chose to have a D&C and thought I was on the read to recovery.

I got my "period" 4 weeks later, but it was acting strange. I had bled for 14 days and on the 15th day I started bleeding heavily while at school. I was able to get things taken care of and called the doctor. She told me it was normal to have a strange first few cycles after a m/c and that I would be alright. Well, a week later I was helping at a retirement party when the same thing happened again. Huge gushes of blood and I was taken to the ER. After 2 u/s and several vials of blood were taken, it was determined that they had missed part of the placenta and I had to have a second D&C.

On Father's Day I got my first post m/c period and sure enough...the same bullshit was going on! Bleeding for 7 days and spotting for another. I made an appointment with my doctor, which was today, and I'm so confused and at a loss as to what I should do. I was given Provera, which is a drug used to bring on a period...so I'm not sure if I should sit this cycle out or not. I will sleep on it and do some more researching in the morning.

I am keeping this blog as a reminder of the sorrows and joys that come with TTC. I want to be able to look back some day and realize how truly miraculous it is to have a baby. I want my kids to know what I went through to have them, and how much they mean to me. Until next time...