I just am feeling really helpless and frustrated with this whole TTC business. I don't understand why it's taking so long and being so much harder to conceive this time around. We had no troubles with the girls at all! NONE!! Addy was a hole in one and Lauryn only took 2 months, but this...this is dragging on to 9 months already :( It's been nearly 5 months since by angel grew wings, and it's not getting any easier...In fact, it seems to be getting harder as my cycles seem to be getting weirder and weirder.
I took the Provera that was given to me at the end of July and got my period on CD23...WTH?? Well, this month I got my period on CD19!! I made a call to the other OB office in town with hopes that they'd be able to give me a second opinion, but that appointment isn't for another 3 weeks, and I don't know what to do in the meantime. Do I try again and get my hopes crushed when AF shows early, or do I wait and just suffer in the meantime while all the people around me seem to be getting pregnant without much effort? It just sucks!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Well...
it looks like I Od yesterday!! WooHoo!! My temp took a major nose dive yesterday and I was freaking out, but today it went sky high! I'll be interested to see what happens with my temps over the next few weeks. I'm not trying to get my hopes up as we didn't get to BD yesterday, but we did the three days in a row prior to ovulating. So, we'll see what happens!! The next 11 days are going to be torture...
Monday, August 3, 2009
A Roller Coaster of Emotions
TTC can definately play with your emotions...you can go from happy, to sad, to depressed, to excited in a matter of minutes, even seconds. I've been so confused with this cycle, and I blame it on the Provera that I've been taking.
FF gave me CHs on CD10!! I wasn't even done spotting yet, but that is the day I started taking the Provera. I did notice that it said that the progesterone may have caused my temps to go up so the CHs may not be accurate. I went out and bought some OPKs because I was concerned. I took one on Friday night and it was close to being positive, but still negative. I was excited, and I thought for sure Saturday would be the day. Well, I took the OPK and the second line was barely visable. I was crushed. I was thinking that maybe FF was right and that the darker line I had gotten the day before was coming off the LH surge and I had indeed Od already.
Last night, I decided to take another one. I just don't buy the CHs. My temps are still fairly low and I just haven't felt like I've Od already. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel different after I O. It's strange!! Anyway, imagine my surprise when the second line was super dark!! I posted it online and asked for opinions on whether or not it was positive. The consesus is that it was negative, but super darn close to being positive...so hopefully I'll have 2 dark, beautiful lines when I test today. We've been BDing to cover all our bases just in case. I hope this is our month!! If I got pregnant this month, I'd be due on my mom's birthday!!
FF gave me CHs on CD10!! I wasn't even done spotting yet, but that is the day I started taking the Provera. I did notice that it said that the progesterone may have caused my temps to go up so the CHs may not be accurate. I went out and bought some OPKs because I was concerned. I took one on Friday night and it was close to being positive, but still negative. I was excited, and I thought for sure Saturday would be the day. Well, I took the OPK and the second line was barely visable. I was crushed. I was thinking that maybe FF was right and that the darker line I had gotten the day before was coming off the LH surge and I had indeed Od already.
Last night, I decided to take another one. I just don't buy the CHs. My temps are still fairly low and I just haven't felt like I've Od already. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel different after I O. It's strange!! Anyway, imagine my surprise when the second line was super dark!! I posted it online and asked for opinions on whether or not it was positive. The consesus is that it was negative, but super darn close to being positive...so hopefully I'll have 2 dark, beautiful lines when I test today. We've been BDing to cover all our bases just in case. I hope this is our month!! If I got pregnant this month, I'd be due on my mom's birthday!!
Friday, July 31, 2009
Ummm....
that can't be right? Looking at my ticker on FF, my temps have risen the past 2 days, and it looks like I may have Od already, but I'm still spotting and only on CD12...WTHeck? I'm nervous and anxious to see what happens with my temp tomorrow. If I did in fact O already, then I have no chance this month. We didn't BD close to that day at all :(
Thursday, July 30, 2009
So confused...
I have never been more confused in my life than I am right now. After reading up on Provera last night, I don't understand why she gave it to me, and whether or not I should even try concieving this month. All it's going to do is start my period over, and just a few days after ovulation. There would be no point in trying because there wouldn't be enough time for the egg to implant, would there?
Todd is ok with whatever decision I make, but my heart is all over the place. I never realized how hard TTC can be. We were so fortunate with Addison and Lauryn. We got a "hole in one" with Addison, and Lauryn only took 2 months. Our angel baby was more difficult because of the strange periods, but we were blessed after 3 months...think it's safe to say that this baby will take 4 ;) I'll be disappointed if I have to sit this cycle out, but I know whatever decision I make will be in the best interest of a healthy baby.
**Update**
I put in a call to my OB this morning after reading up on Provera. I really was confused and concerned on what I should do. I asked her if I should start taking the medicine right away, and she said yes. I asked her how long it would take for my period to return once I stopped taking the pills, and she said my periods wouldn't change, and that it would return when it normally should. I said to her that I was confused because I have friends who take it to jump start their periods, and she replied by saying that Provera works 2 ways: it can jump start a period, or in my case, it can stop the bleeding of a period that's last a long time. I asked if we had to wait to TTC and she said no. If we're comfortable trying now, she said go for it. I am not sure what we'll do yet, but I am glad that I called and got a "few" answers to my many, many questions. I called Todd to tell him, and he said, "Well, I'm willing to sacrifice my body every night for the next 3 weeks if I need to." Good lord, he's a nut!!
Todd is ok with whatever decision I make, but my heart is all over the place. I never realized how hard TTC can be. We were so fortunate with Addison and Lauryn. We got a "hole in one" with Addison, and Lauryn only took 2 months. Our angel baby was more difficult because of the strange periods, but we were blessed after 3 months...think it's safe to say that this baby will take 4 ;) I'll be disappointed if I have to sit this cycle out, but I know whatever decision I make will be in the best interest of a healthy baby.
**Update**
I put in a call to my OB this morning after reading up on Provera. I really was confused and concerned on what I should do. I asked her if I should start taking the medicine right away, and she said yes. I asked her how long it would take for my period to return once I stopped taking the pills, and she said my periods wouldn't change, and that it would return when it normally should. I said to her that I was confused because I have friends who take it to jump start their periods, and she replied by saying that Provera works 2 ways: it can jump start a period, or in my case, it can stop the bleeding of a period that's last a long time. I asked if we had to wait to TTC and she said no. If we're comfortable trying now, she said go for it. I am not sure what we'll do yet, but I am glad that I called and got a "few" answers to my many, many questions. I called Todd to tell him, and he said, "Well, I'm willing to sacrifice my body every night for the next 3 weeks if I need to." Good lord, he's a nut!!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
An Introduction
Well, I'm not really sure where to start, but I've got to start somewhere. My name is Holly and I'm 26 years old. I've been truly blessed with 2 beautiful little girls, Addison (3 years old) and Lauryn (20 months old). I've been married to my husband, Todd, for 4 years, and we recenty decided that it was time to complete our family.
We started trying for our third and final baby in December of 2008. I noticed that my periods were starting to change, and go figure!! It was right when we were ready to start trying again. I had gone from a typical 5 days to 7 days of bleeding, and my ovulation day had changed from CD14 to anywhere between CD17-22. I had decided that if I wasn't pregnant after 3 months, and my periods continued to act strangely, that I would make a call to my doctor and discuss them with her.
I didn't have to make that call as we were blessed with a BFP on February 24, 2009 with a due date of November 8. We were so excited!! It had been a tough 3 months, but we were finally pregnant. I continued to chart my temps and became nervous as I realized that they weren't rising as they should. They were hovering around my coverline which scared me. I knew something wasn't quite right.
On March 26 I went for my firs u/s. I should have been 8w, and the baby was only measuring 6 weeks. I broke down into tears as I knew what was happening. I tried to think positively and was hoping that I was wrong...but on April 8 my worst fears came true! I found out via u/s that my lovebug had grown wings. His or her heart had stopped beating just a day or so after my previous appointment. I was and still am devestated. I chose to have a D&C and thought I was on the read to recovery.
I got my "period" 4 weeks later, but it was acting strange. I had bled for 14 days and on the 15th day I started bleeding heavily while at school. I was able to get things taken care of and called the doctor. She told me it was normal to have a strange first few cycles after a m/c and that I would be alright. Well, a week later I was helping at a retirement party when the same thing happened again. Huge gushes of blood and I was taken to the ER. After 2 u/s and several vials of blood were taken, it was determined that they had missed part of the placenta and I had to have a second D&C.
On Father's Day I got my first post m/c period and sure enough...the same bullshit was going on! Bleeding for 7 days and spotting for another. I made an appointment with my doctor, which was today, and I'm so confused and at a loss as to what I should do. I was given Provera, which is a drug used to bring on a period...so I'm not sure if I should sit this cycle out or not. I will sleep on it and do some more researching in the morning.
I am keeping this blog as a reminder of the sorrows and joys that come with TTC. I want to be able to look back some day and realize how truly miraculous it is to have a baby. I want my kids to know what I went through to have them, and how much they mean to me. Until next time...
We started trying for our third and final baby in December of 2008. I noticed that my periods were starting to change, and go figure!! It was right when we were ready to start trying again. I had gone from a typical 5 days to 7 days of bleeding, and my ovulation day had changed from CD14 to anywhere between CD17-22. I had decided that if I wasn't pregnant after 3 months, and my periods continued to act strangely, that I would make a call to my doctor and discuss them with her.
I didn't have to make that call as we were blessed with a BFP on February 24, 2009 with a due date of November 8. We were so excited!! It had been a tough 3 months, but we were finally pregnant. I continued to chart my temps and became nervous as I realized that they weren't rising as they should. They were hovering around my coverline which scared me. I knew something wasn't quite right.
On March 26 I went for my firs u/s. I should have been 8w, and the baby was only measuring 6 weeks. I broke down into tears as I knew what was happening. I tried to think positively and was hoping that I was wrong...but on April 8 my worst fears came true! I found out via u/s that my lovebug had grown wings. His or her heart had stopped beating just a day or so after my previous appointment. I was and still am devestated. I chose to have a D&C and thought I was on the read to recovery.
I got my "period" 4 weeks later, but it was acting strange. I had bled for 14 days and on the 15th day I started bleeding heavily while at school. I was able to get things taken care of and called the doctor. She told me it was normal to have a strange first few cycles after a m/c and that I would be alright. Well, a week later I was helping at a retirement party when the same thing happened again. Huge gushes of blood and I was taken to the ER. After 2 u/s and several vials of blood were taken, it was determined that they had missed part of the placenta and I had to have a second D&C.
On Father's Day I got my first post m/c period and sure enough...the same bullshit was going on! Bleeding for 7 days and spotting for another. I made an appointment with my doctor, which was today, and I'm so confused and at a loss as to what I should do. I was given Provera, which is a drug used to bring on a period...so I'm not sure if I should sit this cycle out or not. I will sleep on it and do some more researching in the morning.
I am keeping this blog as a reminder of the sorrows and joys that come with TTC. I want to be able to look back some day and realize how truly miraculous it is to have a baby. I want my kids to know what I went through to have them, and how much they mean to me. Until next time...
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